The Most Sexist Thing I've Ever Heard

I shivered as I walked off the MAX. The inrush of cold air into the MAX blew passed me and made those still seated tighten their jackets and scarves. The crisp false Spring Portland air greeted me cheerful though. Portland is my home, and somehow this atypical Spring chill just seemed right to me. I went up to the West side of Pioneer Square and waited at the Starbucks for the man who would be giving me a ride down to Salem later today. I'd found the ride-share on Craigslist the previous day and was eager to go see my friend Ben compete in his Jujitsu tournament.

The Starbucks smelled of hot foam, and cinnamon and I barely managed to resist getting some kind of pastry. A few minutes of sitting and I got the text saying that David, my ride, was outside. I grabbed my bag and went out to look for his green Toyota. Apparently by green he meant oak blind camouflage. Meh. I like hunting, what's the worst that can happen?

David it turns out was the most sexist, homophobic, racist, and generally crazy tea-partying redneck I've ever met. His truck smelled of beer and cigarettes. And Corn Nuts, my most hated snack. The drive was mostly talk radio. I think after learning I attended a liberal arts school David though he needed to educate me on politics and what's right and wrong. And so I overheard this three-way discourse between two bigots pandering fear and ignorant hatred into the hearts and minds of thousands, and one idiot, driving a young "liberal yuppie" down to see some submission wrestling.

Dave: "Here check this out.."

"Remember their goal is to get abortions. Remember they don't need a husband. They have the socialist healthcare. It's all about getting as many abortions as they can. That's what "College" is all about."

Dave: "Mhmm"...
...

"Because their feminist professors have told them that their husbands will abuse her. So instead she sells herself to the highest bidder on the slave market because at least that way she's independant."
...
"Well you say that there are two kinds of feminists now."
...
"That's right there are two kinds, all of them want to be free from the family, free from the husband. Who needs a stinking husband, who wants to submit to a husband? When you have a security in the state or a sugar daddy for while you're in college. "
...
Dave: "Yupp"...
...
"Two forms. It largely has to do with how attractive a woman is. It is based off of attractiveness because that's where they get their value from. There's the Sarah Palin feminist who uses her beauty to get power and isn't afraid to get married but will use her power to make her man submit to her. These are the good looking ones. The other ones are those who are attractively dificient optically challenged attractively challenge."
...
"That's a nice way to put it. "
...
"Well yeah, they're the one's most likely to go into a career in academia."
...
Dave: "yupp"...
...
"They're ugly, they're the ugly nerd fema-nazis that Rush like to talk about."
...
"Exactly, and they're angry about it because they lack power that the sexuality of other woman. They're mad that they lack that market value, they can still get jobs! They can be an FDA administrator, or the head of the EPA. But they love academia because they can be angry, ugly, and they can get tenure."
 ...
 Dave: "Couldnt'a saiyd it better myself"...
...

"Well we have to take into account that if we're ticking anyone off it's the femanists and the homosexuals. "
...
"Absolutely, neither one of them have a high regard for the family or for the word of God."
...
"That's true, you're right. And they're the one's who are destroying society."
...
"Well the systems we're living in are coming down around our very eyes. I believe that there will be a time in history when we look back at feminism and say look, the women stopped caring about their children, about there, family, about society. And they decided to become lying, selfish, narcissistic, whores."
...
Dave: "God damnit"... 
...

I was definitely resisting using my pepper spray by the time I got to Salem. It took much more self control than not buying that pastry at Starbucks.